So call me narrow minded but I never really gave a thought to the other side of the arranged marriage circus
The guy’s side
I mean considering they are an integral part of the while process you’d think it would strike me faster that they too are a species going through the exact same insecurities and hilarious ironies that this entire process entails!
And yes , what got me thinking about their side of the story was a funny conversation(by no means funny to the participant ofcourse) that I was unknowingly privy to.
Fact was it was difficult not to be privy to it as the person ensured he spoke in such volume that the entire vehicle would have no choice but to be privy to it. Thus begins my narration of a private conversation held quite publicly.
On a normal day on my way to work a fellow passenger decides to take up arguing with the person on the other end of the phone , who it turns out was his mother .
Apparently said gentleman’s mother was pushing him to agree to an alliance that came about from his uncle as a consequence of his mother attending a “family function”( dah dah dahhhhh: scary background score )
Now to understand why the very word family function increases the heart beat of a candidate of arranged marriage either due to anxiety or excitement , one must understand that family functions are fertile scouting grounds for.the elders of families. The discussions inevitably lead to the potential arranged marriage candidate and their presence e at the function or lack there of is just no deterrent to the process at all.
So with this knowledge we go back to the conversation said gentleman was having with his mother
He made it clear making so effort to hide his rising temper that he simply will not agree to an alliance without seeing or even speaking to the potential partner no matter how good her credentials may be
After making every effort to convince his mother he cuts the call and further turns to his fellow passenger/friend and unburdens his plight.
I will try my best to translate it to english from my native tongue but the comical element of it sure will be lost.
” I have told her a million times not to pay attention to all these silly proposals. I will find my girl and someone who loves me for who I am. I don’t understand why she is behind my life! Don’t try to call me today ! For the next few days even! Am keeping my phone switched off!
I could only nod in silent understanding and sympathy for his plight.
There, there young man.
Partially in sympathy , partially amused and partially pondering I took out my earphones and decided to end my participation in this conversation.
Surprised would be the apt adverb for me at that juncture. My struggle has a ring of universality to it. Albeit, only to this rebellious generation that is us but universal nonetheless.
My search continues, no luck yet , but my parents seemed to have relaxed their anxieties about finding a groom I understand. They seemed to have progressed to a stage where they seem to think ‘ jab hoga so hoga’ : it will happen when it has to . It comes with a lot of relief and has gotten me to a point of maybe actually kind of enjoying all these options I have laid out in front of me. It’s tedious no doubt , but 6-7 months into it now and it has sort of dulled into the background. Ongoing but not quite there.
Maybe my learning of this crazy journey that is the ‘great indian arranged marriage circus’ is yet to be complete.But it has definitely surprised me at every turn
Amused ,relieved and mildly curious,