Arranged marriage chronicles part 10: A word of caution-On a serious note

It was a scary experience. So a proposal comes around and all looks well, in fact really really well and as is custom, all queries regarding the family was initiated.

All turned out well, family was exceptionally well known to the point that the potential groom and his siblings were well known as children in the area and were of impeccable reputation.  The family name itself was pretty reputed in our community as a religious head was from the said family.

The guy himself, as is considered a matter of pride among my people, was ‘working abroad with PR status’ in a known country in the western hemisphere.

All seemed well and I,true to my word, actually said yes after a lot of sleepless nights and anxiety ridden days as to how will I acquaint myself with complete stranger

Until..

One simple question unraveled it all..

What year did the guy pass out if college?

Mind you this is after being assured that the guy studied from an extremely reputed college in the country and also worked in various well known firms in our native land and abroad

The mother of the groom , who was actually at the forefront for the whole process , gets extremely ruffled and speaks disrespectful ly towards my parents..My father along with being offended felt something was oddly off and set off into a detailed search of the guy himself  and sure enough..

Every detail given to us about the guy was false!

The family and it’s reputation was all well and as is general custom further questions about the guy specifically are avoided in most cases.  If that had been the case here I would have married into a HUGE web of falsehoods!

So here is a word of caution to all out there who are considering this process..

Please don’t be afraid to ask all the necessary questions!!and if anyone seems hesitant to answer please probe into asuch detail as possible before proceeding any further as a marriage is a NOT a joke!

If your relatives seems hesitant to ask questions bluntly pertaining to the guys /girls orientation, education ,work  or health status or any damn specific question under the sun PLZ make it a point that you dear reader take the initiative and find it out ! Coz our politeness or old customs should not become a barrier for us as I witnessed first hand just how close a call that was!

Rattled and shaken

Rosepens

 

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Arranged marriage chronicles part 9: career caste system

So I continue my observations of the great indian arranged marriage circus not to mention my willing participation. On these lines a worthwhile point of note is that the caste system in india is supposed to be a thing of the past.

Or so it was thought.

Wait till you step into arranged marriage.

It’s almost as if all you are worth is your profession or if it appears in the profile in some way that your father is loaded

Ofcourse preferably both

Not to mention your being tall fair and slim is like the holy grail combination and not being so is well not-so-holy-grail-esque.

Doctors and engineers get the cream pick because no matter how they got the degree or where they practice now or what quality of services they impart,they are rreeaaalllyyyy high up the hierarchy.

An SLP (speech language pathologist i. e. Yours faithfully)

is I guess imagined to be a person of not exactly high intelligence and/or lacking in an interesting repertoire in general (also read as maybe her father isn’t as loaded as we would like

I am embarassed to say this system is being firmly anchored into place by none other than my own generation of people.The people who are supposed to be of  the most open minded generation in indian cultural history. .Indian Gen Y

Gosh.

This bizarre journey continues and an end is no where in sight

Blah

Rosepens